While engaging in a discussion about the vicious breastfeeding war, I starting thinking about the mom I want to be. Though I have my moments, I'm not always her. I am always struggling to be.
I want to be the kind of mom who has a strong back bone. I want to be the kind of mom who stands up for what I believe in. I want to teach my kids to not only stand up for what they believe in, but also to respect other people who do the same.
I want to be the kind of mom who my kids respect. I hope they'll come to understand that I think through my decisions so they can respect them. I want to be the kind of mom who makes tough decisions when I think it's the right thing to do, even though they might not be the popular ones.
I want to be the kind of mom who tries to do the right thing. Right and wrong are black and white a lot of the time and I don't want to be wishy-washy about my morals. I want my kids to learn that from seeing me always try to do the right thing.
I want to be the kind of mom who has an open mind. I don't believe that I'm always right just because I'm the mom and he's the kid. I don't want to be the kind of mom who thinks that just because I think something is right or wrong, good or bad, that everybody else should feel the same way. There's a lot that I don't know. There's a lot that I can learn. I want to be the kind of mom who teaches her kids to be open minded too.
I want to be the kind of mom who has infinite amounts of patience. I want to be the kind of mom who knows the difference between a child who is being intentionally defiant and one who truly needs extra support and reminders. I want to the be kind of mom who knows what "boys will be boys" means and keeps it in mind when she's breaking up a play fight gone wrong for the eight millionth time.
I want to be the kind of mom who my kids feel comfortable talking to. Some people say, and I sometimes agree with them, that I talk too much. I engage in too much discussion with Jonas. They're right that he argues with me a lot, probably at least in part because I talk so much. I explain myself to him, not because I think of him as an equal, but because I want him to learn decision-making. Understanding the decision-making process will help him to develop his own skills and also, I hope, to learn to predict the consequences of his actions.
I want to be the kind of mom who's consistent. Predictable is boring but kids need predictability when it comes to things like morals, expectations and discipline. Everyone has good moods and bad ones, but I don't want themm to inlfuence the foundations of my relationships with my kids. I don't want to say one thing and do another. I want to teach them the value of hard work and honesty.
I want to be the kind of mom who accepts that things are never going to be perfect. I try to make the best of things and give more weight to the positive than the negative. I'm a little OCD and like to have things clear and organized but life can be chaotic sometimes, especially with kids. That's ok. I hope that's something that I can pass onto my kids.
I want to be the kind of mom who has faith in herself and her kids. If I do my best to raise them, I want to put my faith in that. I want to let them spread their wings and fly when they have the chance. I want to teach them to believe in themselves. I want to let them go when they're ready not when I am.
I want to be the kind of mom who fingerpaints, splashes in puddles, makes forts and builds sandcastles. I want to be the kind of mom who does all of the voices in books, who brings treats on long car rides, who is the best present shopper ever, and who makes a superb meatloaf and mashed potatoes. I want to have fun with my kids and vice-versa!