Jonas and I had a wonderful time at Winter Camp this weekend. We went sledding and hiking. We did some camp cooking and some crafts. He even learned encription, poker and blackjack. In the midst of all the fun, I had two important moments of realization.
The first was on Friday night, laying on a cot in the basement of the cabin listening to the boys try to settle down upstairs. Knowing that Jonas wanted to snuggle, I was overcome with emotion. He's gotten used to sharing me with the other kids but there's something about bedtime that's different. It's a special time of day for us. It's the one part of camp that he hasn't gotten used to yet. I realized that even though Scouting is something that we share, it's important that Jonas's mom and his Cub Scout Leader stay separate. He needs to do some of these things independent of his mom. Sleepover camp is one of those things. It's a measured dose of independence and it's good for both of us.
The second epiphany happened on Saturday morning on the toboggan hill. As I started down the hill on a GT Snowracer, I realized that I am 41 years old. My body is creaky and doesn't bend or bounce any more. I thought about my broken shoulder and my sore knee. I hit the brakes and then jumped off. I just couldn't bring myself to white knuckle it until the sled got the bottom of the hill. Several times I tried and several times I bailed. Even the shame that comes with chickening out in front of my eight year son wasn't powerful enough to overcome the fear. In short, I am a great big chicken.
They say that Scouting is "an hour a week" but it's SO much more than that. One of the magical side effects of Scout camp, is that Jonas and I both get a little bit older each time. He gets a little more independent and responsible and I let go of my little boy a wee bit. Scouts continues to be an amazing experience for us. Our relationship grows and gets a little stronger every week. If you haven't tried it, I highly recommend it!