The Evolution of a Family

A friend's blog this morning has me reflecting on the stages of life we go through as parents and families. As we prepare to start anew with BB, I can't help but pause to think about all the wonderful memories we've made so far on this wonderful journey together. Ten years married and nine years of parenting has been quite an evolution.

Steven and I didn't sleep a wink the night of our wedding. Get your mind out of the gutter! THAT isn't what I'm talking about. We had just enjoyed a beautiful day and we were too excited about our future together to sleep. Instead, we dreamed about what the future would be like for our family. Neither of us saw our family of two as complete. We talked about Tasha and that magical day when she would rejoin us. We talked about the babies we would have. Our rose coloured glasses were firmly in place, as they should be for newlyweds.

I think I've blocked out much of those upsidedown first few months after Jonas was born. I do remember the extreme fatigue and almost total abscence of self-confidence, but what fills my heart is the memory of falling in love with my baby. The joys of watching him learn and grow is almost as visceral to me as realizing that my own identity as a mother, as well as ours as a family, is evolving right along with him.

After years of longing for it, we were exuberant when Tasha actively joined our little tribe a few years after Jonas was born. Before then, there was a distinct hole in our family, a spacesaver that was hers and hers alone. Just like when we two became three, the addition of cherished family member number four was the catalyst for the re-creation of our family. The uncertainly of trying to establish a strong family bond with a teenager who you haven't grown into parenting is much like those first few months as newly minted parents. The bumps along the way are more than outweighed by the process of discovering who this wonderful young woman is. Our family has been so enriched by that experience that it's almost as if it was meant to be that way. Watching her enter the world of adulthood and striking out on her own, is an entirely new joy that isn't the end of parenthood, but rather an entirely new stage. I now understand what people mean when they say that parenting never ends, it just evolves.

I'm so excited about the new chapter our family is about to enter. I think it's safe to say that we all are. We've already moved into a phase of transition. In some ways, it's a repeat of a chapter we thought we were finished with, but it's so much more than that. It already is another time of re-creation of our ever-evolving family. Just the thought of it make my heart swell with overwhelming love for these amazing people who I am proud to call my family.

Cheers!

Let the Changes Begin!

One of the most important things on the Baby Blanchard Action Plan is preparing Jonas for our new family member, and trying to keep things as "normal" as possible for him. We don't want him to feel pushed aside or like he has to sacrifice crucial things in his life. It's putting added pressure onto this pre-school year planning period for the Blanchard family. Juggling school, tutoring, speech therapy, Cubs, Beavers and, oh yeah, family, can be tricky at the best of times but this year we're going to have to learn to play it by ear more than we've become accustomed. 

One of the keys to consistency for Jonas is going to be his involvement in Scouts. It's just so overwhelmingly good for him to be active in the Cub Scout program. Click here for imformation about the Scouts Canada Cub Scout Program:

http://www.scouts.ca/ca/programs/cub-scouts 

One of the things we're considering is switching him for our group in Pickering in one closer to home. It's going to be a big change and doing it at the beginning of the year, well before the baby arrives, will hopefully give him time to settle into his new group before his life turns a sideways at home. Moving to group near home will not only help us coordinate our week nights a bit easier, it will allow Steve to play a more active role in Jonas's involvement in Scouts. Hopefully it will mean less gaps in Jonas's participation this year, when Scouter Mom is going to play less of a role.

Finding a group is a little easier for us because I know many of the leaders, but the trick is going to be finding a group that Jonas feels comfortable with. Like any organization, every Scout group has it's own character. We're going to visit a few of the groups in our area and see what he thinks before making a decision. We were very fortunate to join an amazing group when we started (Thank you 9th Pickering!) and I have no doubt that we'll have the same luck with this temporary switch. 

So, for the benefit of anyone who isn't involved in Scouts but is considering it, I thought I'd share a key resource in our search for a new group. Scouts Canada has lots of wonderful groups and their "Find a Group" application is a great way to start to to find groups in your area. You can find by clicking this link:

https://www.myscouts.ca/ca/netforum_locator/search



Scouts Canada has a fantastic program and lots of wonderful groups.
You can find one by clicking here:
https://www.myscouts.ca/ca/netforum_locator/search



Cheers!

Skateboard Recycling

This is what happens when we don't supervise Jonas's chores. Well, actually this is a new one. Recycling meets Indoor Skateboarding. Moments later he decided it would be a good idea to ride down the hallway with the recycling. In that split second, the recycling bin dumped, he went one way and the skateboard the other. Thankfully his head bounced off the wall instead of going through it and the board hit the lower metal part of the screen door rather than the glass. phew. Cheers!

Wordless Wednesday: ADHD Lego

The Chatter Box

As I type, it's Sunday morning at 10:40 am. We've all been up since about 6:30 am. The day started with the promise of a relatively peaceful morning. It has been. Sort of. If you make allowences for my selective hearing.

You see, we haven't been giving Jonas his ADHD meds during summer vacation because he needs to gain some weight.  The result is that he is eating well. He's also a bundle of non-stop noise and movement. He hasn't stopped talking for more more than about 6 seconds, two or three times so far today. I kid you not.

It can be frustrating sometimes, when, for example, you're asking him to stop jumping on the couch for the sixtieth time in an hour. Of when you realize that you just missed something important that he slipped in between the video game play by play comentary. In other words, we need to have our best patience and understanding mustered for days like this.

So far, so good. Wish me luck!

It makes me shiver at the thought of sending him to school unmedicated.

Cheers!

This Boy's Life

There's been another gap in my blogging so I thought I'd pop in today with a little update. The past week or so has been mostly about the boy and two very big events in his life - his 9th birthday and his summer vacation.

July 5th was Jonas's 9th birthday. He and I spent the day together at Chuckie Cheese and then we had a special birthday dinner with Steve. And by special, I mean Kraft Dinner, Jonas's all-time favourite. I didn't ever try to sneak in any veggies!

"Kraft Dinner DOES NOT go with vegetables, Mom!"

This past Sunday was his birthday party. All his Grandparents were there, along with his Aunt, Uncles, cousin and his best friends. We tricked him and told him we were having his party at the local beach. What we actually did was surprise him at a local indoor amusement park with bowling, go-karting, rock climbing, roller coaster, bouncy castle and arcarde. All the kids seemed to love it!

Strategizing with Leah

That's clearly a violation, but everyone was having such a great time together
that nobody even noticed!

Blowing out the candles

After the party, Jonas went home with his Aunt Anne and Uncle Michael. He and his cousin Aidan were very excited about having a sleepover together and by all reports, it was a blast. They hit the beach on the way home and had one of Uncle Michael's special breakfast feasts.

Playing at the beach with Aidan and Uncle Michael

He's spending the rest of the week with his Grandma and Grandpa Blanchard. Meanwhile, Steve and I have the house to ourselves and are trying to use the time to sort through the miriad of stuff that has collected over the year. We're going to meet them all at Sandbanks Provincial Park on Saturday morning and then he'll come home with us for a couple of weeks before he heads off again with his Nana.

So, next week is really week one of Summer vacation for us. His big buddy Aaron is going to babysit in the mornings and we're hoping that he's going to go to camp in the afternoons. Cross your fingers for us!

Cheers!

p.s. - extra special thanks to my sister-in-law Anne for the amazing pictures!

All's Well That End's Well



Grade 3 is over for Jonas and summer vacation is underway. We found these little surprises in his backpack when we cleared it out. His teacher gave him the "Top Notch Award" for all his hard work and improvement over the year, and his classmates voted for him to win the class "Kindest" award. I'd say these are a pretty good indication that it was a successful year. All's well that end's well!

Cheers!

If that's Grade Three, he's done it!

Before the First Day:

After the Last Day:

End of the Year Report Card Day

As I write this, I am sitting at my desk at work, having just hung up from one of the best conversations I've ever had. You see, today was report card day at Jonas's school. When I dropped him off this morning, he was a little hesitant about what his marks would be like. I reassured him that his Dad and I weren't at all nervous about it, and that we both expected that he'd do just fine. I reminded him that we've worked closely with his teacher all year, that we've seen every test and assignment, his daily reports, etc. I also reminded him that he's worked hard and done his best all year long and that's what really matters. Mom's words are hard to hear, though, when you've got a lump in your throat and an ache in your tummy.

He called as soon as he and Steve had a chance to look at it, which I gather was in the truck before they even left the parking lot. I could hear the pride in his voice as soon as he started reading off every mark. They were mostly Bs and Cs, punctuated with B+s in Science and Social Studies, and an A- in Math. He was a little quiet when he told me about the D+ in Music, but we knew this coming. He doesn't have some Bart Simpson-like bad attitude but, rather, it turns out that when he's in Music class, he's more like Bart's sister Lisa in the opening sequence of the show. He's got the music in him and it just has to come out with it's own flair. Sheet music and Conductor be damned!  LOL!

I'm thrilled for him. He worked hard this year. It was a team effort but he did it. We had moments when we thought he was going to go down the path of hating school and frankly, we were right there with him once in a while. He didn't give up and even found some things along the way that he thought were cool enough to explore on his own outside of school.

Of course, his teachers deserve HUGE accolades. He was blessed to have a teacher who really gets ADHD, speech disfluency and little boys. Mrs. G was just the teacher we needed this year. Her understanding, patience and experience were truly blessings for us. All of the staff at the school are outstanding and for us, this year, Mrs. G was like the team captain who kept everyone on the same page in the playbook. We got her and the staff some token thank you gifts but we'll never be able to adequately express how grateful we are for them.

Cheers!

Wordless Wednesday - The Best Day at School EVER!

Yesterday was Play Day at Jonas school. I made the mistake of asking him about it at bedtime last night. Queue the instant non-stop, vivid descriptions and animations. I'm pretty sure he was still talking about it after he fell asleep. This morning he picked up right where he left off. In honour of Wordless Wednesday, I'll let the smile on his face tell you story. Cheers!

"Mom, I wish school could be like that every day!"

Monday Mystery - Girls

For the last couple of weeks, Jonas and I have been reading "The Dangerous Book for Boys" at bedtime. Here's the description of the book from the publisher's website:

"The bestselling book for every boy from eight to eighty, covering essential boyhood skills such as building tree houses, learning how to fish, finding true north, and even answering the age old question of what the big deal with girls is.

In this digital age there is still a place for knots, skimming stones and stories of incredible courage. This book recaptures Sunday afternoons, stimulates curiosity, and makes for great father-son activities. The brothers Conn and Hal have put together a wonderful collection of all things that make being young or young at heart fun-building go-carts and electromagnets, identifying insects and spiders, and flying the world's best paper airplanes."

We have the UK and Canadian versions of the book and every night, Jonas flips through the table of contents and chooses something that he's interested in learning about. We've read about famous explorers, astronomy, building go-carts, the rules of soccer, survival kits, and many other things. We continued the trend last night, but with an unexpected twist. Last night he wanted to read the chapter on "Girls".
 
"Mom," he said, "I really need to figure out how to get Maria to notice me. She doesn't even know I'm alive. Maybe this will help."  
  
Ok, felllow mom's of the world with little boys who are just discovering girls, here's the magic advice from the book:

• Take care of yourself and make sure you don't smell
• Don't be gross
• Girls like flowers
• Help her with heavy lifting and - Jonas's favourite piece of advice - if something's too heavy for you to carry, sit on it and engage her in conversation.

Steven just smiled and nodded as Jonas told him about all the new secrets he's going to try. His skepticism is probably well placed but, as a mom, those four things sound like really good advice.

  
Cheers!