The Birds and the Bees

Today's blog entry comes directly from a conversation I had with my good friend Melissa yesterday. She and I were talking about talking to our kids about the birds and the bees. It's becoming a more pressing issue in our house, as Jonas deals with his first crush and the impending birth of his little sister.

I learned more about the birds and the bees on the school yard than I even did at home. By the time my mom gave me "the talk" I was 11 and didn't hear a word she said after "Jacqui, sometimes when a man and a woman love each other, they get together." Don't get me wrong, I'm not criticizing my mom. I'm just getting more and more cues that we're going to have the talk in our house, or rather, a series of talks at an earlier age. In fact, we've already started.

Jonas told me yesterday that he doesn't keep any secrets from me. "Mom," he said "you know everything that I know. When I know something that you don't, I tell you. When you know something that I don't, well, I still don't know." LOL!

I sometimes feel in the dark about what's going on in his mind, but the truth is that he's pretty dead-on in his assessment. The cool thing is that even if he doesn't ask a specific question, he does give us really clear hints about what he's thinking. We just have to watch and listen. He shows us by doing things like peaking through his fingers during the kissing scenes in movies instead of "EUW!"ing his way through it, or making his action figures smooch, etc... Jonas mentioned something about his crush kissing another boy - HINT! He mentioned something about his babysitter making out with his girlfriend. HINT! Once you get the first hint your radar stays in the "on" position forever I suspect.

The knowing "when" is getting easier and easier. The "how", on the other hand, not so much. I never want to lie to my kids, except maybe about the fun stuff like the sock monster in the dryer. "What do you think?" is my standard discussion starter but I need more substance to go on when it comes to this topic. Thanks to my good friend Annette, I now have a wonderful resource to help. The book is called "Questions Children Ask & How to Answer Them." 

Here's a link in case you're interested:

http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/Questions-Children-Ask-How-Answer-Miriam-Stoppard/9780679308621-item.html?ikwid=questions+kids+ask&ikwsec=Home 

The Chapters website describes it this way: 

Everyone has questions -- but children need special answers. When confronted by a five-year-old asking, "How are babies made?" or "What does dead mean?" do you flounder for the right answer? In Questions Children Ask, Dr. Miriam Stoppard provides honest, sensitive answers allowing the parent or caregiver to tailor their replies to the child''s level of maturity and comprehension. Questions are grouped into topics ranging from sexuality and babies, divorce and drugs, to violence, abuse and death. Each question page is set up with alternative answers depending on the child''s age and loaded with full-colour illustrations.

This book is a god-send. Thank you Annette!!

Cheers!