Steven and I are very happy with the progress Jonas is making in school. He's been working very hard and, generally, has kept a very positive attitude. It's scary to think that he might get lost in the system at age 7, and it's been challenging to figure out how to navigate forward. We are extremely grately to be blessed with knowledgable and experienced people in our lives. They have provided amazing support and guidance and I give thanks to them every day.
Last week was report card time and this weekend we started experiencing the unexpected aftermath of that. He received a few congratulatory voice and e-mails from loving friends and relatives, congratulating him on his success. He was very proud of himself, as he should be, until a couple of these messages had the opposite effect they were intended to.
Some people just haven't seen the light about his ADHD. They think it's a stupid label, intended to be an excuse for holding him back or for not pushing him harder. Though the reality is quite different, some people just can't accept this. They couldn't resist taking a dig at the ADHD diagnosis, not realizing that he'd interpret these as digs at him.
The report card had mixed results. He received mostly Cs, a couple of Bs, an A, and a few Ds. Some people think that telling him to work harder or smarter is the answer. They said "See. I told you. This ADHD thing is a crock! Look what you can do if you just try!" Though I'm sure they were well-meaning, he knows how hard he's trying, so what he heard was "See. You must not be smart enough for those other things."
As a consequence, while writing out number sequences last night, he started sobbing, callling himself dumb and smacking himself in the head. When I tried to console him, he said "When you help me read the question, I can figure out what order they go in but I can't write the numbers properly. I keep making dumb mistakes and I can't even write as good as a kid in kindergarten!" It broke my heart.
What the naysayers don't see is how hard he struggles for the Ds in language, reading and fine motor skills. He struggles with fundamental learning skills like reading, printing and speaking. It's difficult and discouraging for him, especially when he has to deal with those things while trying to learn science, math and social studies. Having to read or write brings him to tears. Thankfully, the school has made adjustments for those challenges in his other subjects, so that he doesn't fall behind in those too.
It's not a matter of him working harder or smarter. It's about us figuring out different ways to teach and encourage him, and it's about him having the patience to keep trying until he gets it. We're making a big deal about how proud we are of him for working so hard. We tell him that we and his teacher are proud of his effort and his behaviour, and we remind him that these are the most important things - even more important that his marks. We're also going to start screening his calls. ;)
Cheers!
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Report Card Time
Yesterday was report card day. I dreaded it all day. As we get closer to the day he changes schools, he's getting more anxious about it and so are we. He's worried about fitting in and making friends. We're concerned about that too, but we're just as leary about his academic performance and how it will measure up in the new school with a new teacher.
The kids usually race home from school on report card day, whip them out and start comparing. It's great that they are so eager and confident, but yesterday we would be in the company of two of his classmates during the great unveiling. Both of them seem to be sailing through this school year with no issues, and are excelling as Jonas falls behind. The first report this year wasn't too bad because they moved away from letter grades but not this time around. This time we're right back to the old standard. In our little group, even the kids who can't read or understand the comments, know their alphabet. I'm careful to seperate them during homework time, and my plan yesterday was to avoid the negative and focus on the positive.
I have to admit that when he showed it to me, I was relieved, and not just because his was the only one that didn't come home sealed. I wasn't expecting good things. We have implimented some important accomodations in the classroom to help him overcome his struggles. In Science and Math, for instance, he does his testing orally rather than reading and writing out long questions and answers. That way, his language and motor skills deficiencies don't hold him back from learning and expressing concepts in other subjects. Despite these great advances, I've become very discouraged after several negative conversations with his teacher recently where she has shown us just how far behind is he is.
We're all very happy with this report. He's proud of himself for getting an A in Science and a B in Math. (EDIT: "I got a B in Social Studies too, mom!") We're proud of him too, and we're glad he gets to see some of the fruits of his labour. He struggles to stay focused in all of his classes, and his body and brain don't cooperate as well in some, which makes it more challenging for him. In Music, for instance, he's doing very well with singing but his coordination isn't, well, coodinated, so his dance marks are low. What makes me smile though his how much he loves it. It's the same story in gym, his skills aren't always there but his enthusiasm is, and that's all a mom can ask for. He's a great kid no matter what, and we need him to understand that we love him as much for the work he's doing on the Ds in language and motor skills stuff as we do for the As and Bs. In truth, I think I'm more proud of him for that work than the stuff that's coming easier for him.
Cheers!
The kids usually race home from school on report card day, whip them out and start comparing. It's great that they are so eager and confident, but yesterday we would be in the company of two of his classmates during the great unveiling. Both of them seem to be sailing through this school year with no issues, and are excelling as Jonas falls behind. The first report this year wasn't too bad because they moved away from letter grades but not this time around. This time we're right back to the old standard. In our little group, even the kids who can't read or understand the comments, know their alphabet. I'm careful to seperate them during homework time, and my plan yesterday was to avoid the negative and focus on the positive.
I have to admit that when he showed it to me, I was relieved, and not just because his was the only one that didn't come home sealed. I wasn't expecting good things. We have implimented some important accomodations in the classroom to help him overcome his struggles. In Science and Math, for instance, he does his testing orally rather than reading and writing out long questions and answers. That way, his language and motor skills deficiencies don't hold him back from learning and expressing concepts in other subjects. Despite these great advances, I've become very discouraged after several negative conversations with his teacher recently where she has shown us just how far behind is he is.
We're all very happy with this report. He's proud of himself for getting an A in Science and a B in Math. (EDIT: "I got a B in Social Studies too, mom!") We're proud of him too, and we're glad he gets to see some of the fruits of his labour. He struggles to stay focused in all of his classes, and his body and brain don't cooperate as well in some, which makes it more challenging for him. In Music, for instance, he's doing very well with singing but his coordination isn't, well, coodinated, so his dance marks are low. What makes me smile though his how much he loves it. It's the same story in gym, his skills aren't always there but his enthusiasm is, and that's all a mom can ask for. He's a great kid no matter what, and we need him to understand that we love him as much for the work he's doing on the Ds in language and motor skills stuff as we do for the As and Bs. In truth, I think I'm more proud of him for that work than the stuff that's coming easier for him.
Cheers!
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Wordless Wednesday
Forget the cupcakes. Here's the Ulitmate Valentine's Day Desert
(A Campfire Favorite): Banana Boats
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| One banana, scooped out and filled with chocolate chips and mashmellows, ready for baking |
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| Baking Banana Boats |
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| Melted and gooey and ready for eating |
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| mmmmmMMMMMM!! |
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Tuesday, February 15, 2011
The Bedtime Routine
I had one of those moments last night that leaves me re-evaluating my parenting.
After a rough morning, we had a great day at daycare. When we got home, dinner prep was underway, but we interrupted that to exchange Valentines and tell each other how much we love us. As Steve and I made dinner, the kids set the table, then talked about their day while they continued work on their most recent craft. Then we sat in front of the tv (I know. tsk tsk!) savoring our homemade burgers and salad and watched some science show that I can't recall now. (The flipside of watching tv while we eat is that we rarely pay attention to the show because we're too busy talking.) Once the dishes were cleared and the kitchen cleaned, Jonas and I snuggled up and read some Dr. Seuss, while Steve and Tasha read books of their own. The day was ending perfectly - until the call of "Betime Jonas!"
It's not what you think. Jonas was great. He got up, grabbed Teddy, gave us all hugs and kisses and headed upstairs on his own. Usually, he bids goodnight to Tasha and I, and then takes Steve's hand to start their bedtime routine. But not last night. Last night he wanted to do it by himself.
When I asked him why, he said that Dad and the cats looked too comfy on the couch to disturb them. Steve responded with "Thanks Buddy!" and followed it up with "He's a big boy now mom." While it was they were sweet sentiments, my mom-brain protested. "He's only 7. He's too young. He needs his routine. HE'LL THINK WE DON'T LOVE HIM!"
I'm pretty sure that Steve could see my wheels turning and the smoke leaking out of my ears. He smiled at me, waited until Jonas rounded the corner and then followed him. Then my brain started going again. "He'll think we don't trust him. He'll think we think he's not old enough or responsible enough. HE'LL THINK WE DON'T LOVE HIM!"
Oh the confusion! This wouldn't be the first time he's taken himself to bed. It happened once before and, my vision of the perfect bedtime routine shattered, I spent the night wrestling with mom-guilt over it. What's up with that?! This time I sat in stunned silence.
For a long time, Jonas only wanted me to take him to bed. He'd ask every night who was going to take him, even though the answer was always the same. I felt guilty every night I didn't make the trek upstairs and I rejoiced when he stopped asking and just expected Dad to be the one.
I love that Steve and Jonas get a few minutes at the end of every day to spend together one-on-one. I even like that they have their own routine, though it's very different from mine. I've come to accept that it sometimes mens he goes to bed wearing the same clothes he wore all day instead of his jammies. They hug and kiss, Steve tucks him in and tells him he loves him, and then it's lights out. (I, on the other hand, sit up there and talk with him for several minutes, indulging every question, no matter how off-the-wall.)
I also like that he's developing independance, and I usually encourage it. He wasn't unhappy or protesting anything. He was just content to go by himself. I should have been happy. He obviously had a good day yesterday and didn't feel a need to draw out bedtime. So why do I feel like those final words are so important?
It's probably the same instinct that forces me to pop into his room to kiss his head every time I walk by his door after he's asleep. My bedtime routine was an important part of my childhood. The truth is that the mom I want to be is pretty demanding, and this is something that she's just not ready for any of us to let go of yet.
Don't tell anyone but I'm secretly hoping it doesn't happen again tonight!
Cheers!
After a rough morning, we had a great day at daycare. When we got home, dinner prep was underway, but we interrupted that to exchange Valentines and tell each other how much we love us. As Steve and I made dinner, the kids set the table, then talked about their day while they continued work on their most recent craft. Then we sat in front of the tv (I know. tsk tsk!) savoring our homemade burgers and salad and watched some science show that I can't recall now. (The flipside of watching tv while we eat is that we rarely pay attention to the show because we're too busy talking.) Once the dishes were cleared and the kitchen cleaned, Jonas and I snuggled up and read some Dr. Seuss, while Steve and Tasha read books of their own. The day was ending perfectly - until the call of "Betime Jonas!"
It's not what you think. Jonas was great. He got up, grabbed Teddy, gave us all hugs and kisses and headed upstairs on his own. Usually, he bids goodnight to Tasha and I, and then takes Steve's hand to start their bedtime routine. But not last night. Last night he wanted to do it by himself.
When I asked him why, he said that Dad and the cats looked too comfy on the couch to disturb them. Steve responded with "Thanks Buddy!" and followed it up with "He's a big boy now mom." While it was they were sweet sentiments, my mom-brain protested. "He's only 7. He's too young. He needs his routine. HE'LL THINK WE DON'T LOVE HIM!"
I'm pretty sure that Steve could see my wheels turning and the smoke leaking out of my ears. He smiled at me, waited until Jonas rounded the corner and then followed him. Then my brain started going again. "He'll think we don't trust him. He'll think we think he's not old enough or responsible enough. HE'LL THINK WE DON'T LOVE HIM!"
Oh the confusion! This wouldn't be the first time he's taken himself to bed. It happened once before and, my vision of the perfect bedtime routine shattered, I spent the night wrestling with mom-guilt over it. What's up with that?! This time I sat in stunned silence.
For a long time, Jonas only wanted me to take him to bed. He'd ask every night who was going to take him, even though the answer was always the same. I felt guilty every night I didn't make the trek upstairs and I rejoiced when he stopped asking and just expected Dad to be the one.
I love that Steve and Jonas get a few minutes at the end of every day to spend together one-on-one. I even like that they have their own routine, though it's very different from mine. I've come to accept that it sometimes mens he goes to bed wearing the same clothes he wore all day instead of his jammies. They hug and kiss, Steve tucks him in and tells him he loves him, and then it's lights out. (I, on the other hand, sit up there and talk with him for several minutes, indulging every question, no matter how off-the-wall.)
I also like that he's developing independance, and I usually encourage it. He wasn't unhappy or protesting anything. He was just content to go by himself. I should have been happy. He obviously had a good day yesterday and didn't feel a need to draw out bedtime. So why do I feel like those final words are so important?
It's probably the same instinct that forces me to pop into his room to kiss his head every time I walk by his door after he's asleep. My bedtime routine was an important part of my childhood. The truth is that the mom I want to be is pretty demanding, and this is something that she's just not ready for any of us to let go of yet.
Don't tell anyone but I'm secretly hoping it doesn't happen again tonight!
Cheers!
Monday, February 14, 2011
Happy Valentine's Day (?)
It's here. Today is the next festival of chocolate, candy and hyper kids acting like lunatics. Happy Valentine's Day? Sure!
Our day started off like any other, until my son realized that it's Valentine's Day. He almost instantaneously got a little more hyper and unfocused. ADHD and chocolate, even the thought of it, don't mix. The anticipation of all that sweet goodness was just too much for him. I almost wanted to shoot myself or his teacher when she rewarded him with chocolate three times last week for helping to clean up the classroom after school. It's a thoughtful gesture to reinforce good behaviour but, frankly, I'm not sure the after-effects are worth it. Thankfully, his ADHD means he usually forgets about the treats if I can get him to wait to eat them for a little while. (Reinforcing my belief that there is always an upside!) I fear that I am going to have no such luck today.
The day's traumas began when I wouldn't let him eat chocolate cupckes for breakfast. He and Tasha made them on Saturday after Beaver Fun Day and he made a b-line straight for them this morning. After many tears and reminders that Christmas and Easter are the only days can eat chocolate before breakfast, and I repeat - BEFORE - not instead of, I finally convinced him to have some yogurt and berries on the way to daycare.
As he finished eating, he realized that he didn't have anything to give to his classmates. Apparently the cards he spent the weekend writing out weren't going to be enough, there needed to be something to go with them. He was in tears thinking that he'd be the only one without some sort of present or treat to give to his classmates. He was only barely appeased by my promise to "figure it out." Phew. My To Do List was growing but at least the tears had stopped.
As we walked into the house, the next trauma of the day befell us, when Leah ran over to give us the cards she'd made for us. Jonas got upset, saying "Leah doesn't like me because she gave me my card last." Ah, the joys of an overly sensative child. I distracted him quickly, showing him the birthday cupcakes by best friend made for my belated birthday celebration yesterday, a party we never made it to because my car kind of fell apart. (That's another tear-filled story for another day, but all's well now.) No, I didn't let him eat one of those cupcakes either, but I did promise one after school and homework today. Upon hearing that, all three kids got into the act by begging to have a cupcake before school No way! I thought I was going to lose my mind and it was only 7 am.
I turned off the tv and distracted them with get-ready-for-school chores. Unable to stop thinking about Valentine's Day, it took them almost 45 minutes to get their snacks, water and backpacks ready. Of course, more tears errupted when Jonas realized that Gavin and Leah each had a bag of chocolate to dole out at school. I looked at the clock. 7:45am. 40 minutes left until the school bell.
Weighing the risks of taking hyper kids out in public, and the likelyhood that somebody would take care of them if I had to be taken away in a straighjacket, I packed them up in the now fixed car and headed for Walmart. We were on a hunt for some sort of treasure for Jonas' classmates. Not wanting to add to the sugar rush, we settled on heart-shaped crazy straws for the kids and a talking stuffed bear for his teacher. Finally, a smile! The first one of the day and it was a huge one. Phew!
When we finally got to school, he ran out of the car so excited that he almost forgot to say goodbye. Even though I couldn't get out of there fast enough, I knew better, so I waited. He stopped and turned suddenly, ran back, gave me hug, and went through his kissing hand routine - three kisses each from me to his hand, him to my hand, and then three regular kisses. Then I got a HUGE smile, an "I love you Mum-a", and off he went.
Those smiles were the best Valentine's presents he could give me. My only wish is that they set the tone for his day. Fingers crossed.
Cheers!
Our day started off like any other, until my son realized that it's Valentine's Day. He almost instantaneously got a little more hyper and unfocused. ADHD and chocolate, even the thought of it, don't mix. The anticipation of all that sweet goodness was just too much for him. I almost wanted to shoot myself or his teacher when she rewarded him with chocolate three times last week for helping to clean up the classroom after school. It's a thoughtful gesture to reinforce good behaviour but, frankly, I'm not sure the after-effects are worth it. Thankfully, his ADHD means he usually forgets about the treats if I can get him to wait to eat them for a little while. (Reinforcing my belief that there is always an upside!) I fear that I am going to have no such luck today.
The day's traumas began when I wouldn't let him eat chocolate cupckes for breakfast. He and Tasha made them on Saturday after Beaver Fun Day and he made a b-line straight for them this morning. After many tears and reminders that Christmas and Easter are the only days can eat chocolate before breakfast, and I repeat - BEFORE - not instead of, I finally convinced him to have some yogurt and berries on the way to daycare.
As he finished eating, he realized that he didn't have anything to give to his classmates. Apparently the cards he spent the weekend writing out weren't going to be enough, there needed to be something to go with them. He was in tears thinking that he'd be the only one without some sort of present or treat to give to his classmates. He was only barely appeased by my promise to "figure it out." Phew. My To Do List was growing but at least the tears had stopped.
As we walked into the house, the next trauma of the day befell us, when Leah ran over to give us the cards she'd made for us. Jonas got upset, saying "Leah doesn't like me because she gave me my card last." Ah, the joys of an overly sensative child. I distracted him quickly, showing him the birthday cupcakes by best friend made for my belated birthday celebration yesterday, a party we never made it to because my car kind of fell apart. (That's another tear-filled story for another day, but all's well now.) No, I didn't let him eat one of those cupcakes either, but I did promise one after school and homework today. Upon hearing that, all three kids got into the act by begging to have a cupcake before school No way! I thought I was going to lose my mind and it was only 7 am.
I turned off the tv and distracted them with get-ready-for-school chores. Unable to stop thinking about Valentine's Day, it took them almost 45 minutes to get their snacks, water and backpacks ready. Of course, more tears errupted when Jonas realized that Gavin and Leah each had a bag of chocolate to dole out at school. I looked at the clock. 7:45am. 40 minutes left until the school bell.
Weighing the risks of taking hyper kids out in public, and the likelyhood that somebody would take care of them if I had to be taken away in a straighjacket, I packed them up in the now fixed car and headed for Walmart. We were on a hunt for some sort of treasure for Jonas' classmates. Not wanting to add to the sugar rush, we settled on heart-shaped crazy straws for the kids and a talking stuffed bear for his teacher. Finally, a smile! The first one of the day and it was a huge one. Phew!
When we finally got to school, he ran out of the car so excited that he almost forgot to say goodbye. Even though I couldn't get out of there fast enough, I knew better, so I waited. He stopped and turned suddenly, ran back, gave me hug, and went through his kissing hand routine - three kisses each from me to his hand, him to my hand, and then three regular kisses. Then I got a HUGE smile, an "I love you Mum-a", and off he went.
Those smiles were the best Valentine's presents he could give me. My only wish is that they set the tone for his day. Fingers crossed.
Cheers!
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Homework Excitement - A Welcome Change!
We had a great night last night!
I went to Scholar's Choice yesterday and picked their brains. In addition to his reading, math and thought organization, Jonas needs to work on his fine motor skills, especially his pencil and scissors skills. His teacher has shown us that he's remained at a kindergaten level in those areas, and it's holding him back on the other fronts. Working on activities designed for younger kids makes him feel like a failure so we needed to try something different.
Amoung other things, I came home with a couple of new books, designed especially for older kids, to help keep their self-esteem high while developing these rudimentary skills. We cracked them open when we got home last night, and he was excited to see that one of the books had a bunch of colouring and cutting crafts for him to make. His Dad and sister got in on the act by being super excited about it too.
Tasha sat down with him and helped him with a randomly choosen project. She did a great job being his assistant, letting him take the lead, and helping him along with encouragement when he needed it. The nice thing about these books is that they leave lots of room for the kids to use their imaginations. Together they designed what was supposed to be an Easter Egg, but turned into a space landscape. They took turns tracing and colouring dirt, grass, sky, the sun, plantets and stars. I'm really not sure who had more fun. Steve and I experienced as much joy watching them as they did doing the project.
I knew I had a winner when he almost cried when it was time for dinner and he had to put it away for a while. After we ate, he immediately when back to the book, and designed a really looking cool snake. This morning he got dressed faster than he ever has, raced downstairs and started cutting it out, anticipating hanging it like a mobile in his room when it's finished.
It feels great knowing that we can find fun ways to help him work on his skills. His weekly spelling lists and writing assignments are great practice, and something he has to master, but they are a struggle. They are more like work to him and he gets discouraged very easily. More often than not, homework time is a battle to not let him give up on himself.
I remember being told that in Grade One that I wrote more like a boy than a girl. That hurt my feelings and I try to remember that when Jonas struggles with his own fingers. There's a long road ahead but seeing him smiling and laughing last night, and not wanting to quit, was wonderful.
Cheers!
I went to Scholar's Choice yesterday and picked their brains. In addition to his reading, math and thought organization, Jonas needs to work on his fine motor skills, especially his pencil and scissors skills. His teacher has shown us that he's remained at a kindergaten level in those areas, and it's holding him back on the other fronts. Working on activities designed for younger kids makes him feel like a failure so we needed to try something different.
Amoung other things, I came home with a couple of new books, designed especially for older kids, to help keep their self-esteem high while developing these rudimentary skills. We cracked them open when we got home last night, and he was excited to see that one of the books had a bunch of colouring and cutting crafts for him to make. His Dad and sister got in on the act by being super excited about it too.
Tasha sat down with him and helped him with a randomly choosen project. She did a great job being his assistant, letting him take the lead, and helping him along with encouragement when he needed it. The nice thing about these books is that they leave lots of room for the kids to use their imaginations. Together they designed what was supposed to be an Easter Egg, but turned into a space landscape. They took turns tracing and colouring dirt, grass, sky, the sun, plantets and stars. I'm really not sure who had more fun. Steve and I experienced as much joy watching them as they did doing the project.
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| The power of play: It just looks like colouring but it's so much more! |
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| Next step: Cutting it out to make a mobile! |
I remember being told that in Grade One that I wrote more like a boy than a girl. That hurt my feelings and I try to remember that when Jonas struggles with his own fingers. There's a long road ahead but seeing him smiling and laughing last night, and not wanting to quit, was wonderful.
Cheers!
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
School Yard Solutions
I don't want to be a helicopter mom, who swoops in and tries to solve every little squabble my kid gets into, but when kids start getting hurt on the school yard, it's time for action. After a rough week last week, where I felt like it was starting to become unsafe for the younger kids, it was time to find some solutions. After some lackluster shoulder shrugging by a few of the teachers, I was spitting nails when I headed for home on Friday. Apparently I wasn't the only one, and I am so glad.
When I and some of the other parents talked to our kids about what was happening, their response was startling. The basic procedure is this: ask the bully nicely to stop. If that doesn't work, move away. If that doesn't work, ask a teacher for help. And if someone is hurt, ask the teacher for help right away. The two most common responses from the kids are that they don't feel like that teachers would do anything about it, and that tattle-taling would only make things worse. Red lights started going off so a few of us booked a chat with the principal this morning.
The school is listening. They had a major staff meeting yesterday morning, and when I got to school to drop the kids off after lunch, I saw no less than six yard supervisors in their bright orange vests. That's a major step forward. They're still outnumbered more that 100 to 1 though, so it's not the only answer.
In our meeting this morning, the Principal confirmed that yes, some of the teachers have been slacking off on the yard duties and that will stop effective immediately. He showed us a map of the school grounds, and explained exactly where the boundaries are. The teachers now have new routes to patrol to make sure all the areas are covered. the Principal and VP will be out there every day too. They're even going to set up a snowball throwing area off to one side that will be set up with targets, and supervised by some of the more adventurous teachers!
When we told him about the younger kids hesitation to talk their teachers, and my own personal experience with the "what can we do?" attitude, he was very unhappy. That's not the message we want to send. He promised to have a second meeting with the teachers to address that. It's simply not acceptable. He went further, telling us to tell our kids to go straight to him if they don't feel comfortable talking to the teachers.
He also promised to talk to the kids this week about the boundaries of the yard, the rules of behaviour, and reminders about what bullying looks like and what to do about it. He's going to hold an assembly for the primary grades tomorrow, and address each of the senior classes individually. All the teachers will do follow-up activities with their classes, and hopefully that will get things back on track.
I like our Principal. While some of the parents and teachers think he "should bring the hammer down on them", and bring in a zero tolerance policy on bullying, and add a bunch of new restrictions on play time, he would rather work towards fostering a sense of right and responsibility in them. Teaching them to be good citizens seems like a much better approach to me too. With the possible odd exception, they're all good kids, who get carried away sometimes. He's got a lot of great ideas about how to deal with one-on-one situations and he has a wealth of patience. He also cares very deeply about our kids. He talks about them as if they are his own.
My faith has been restored.
Cheers!
When I and some of the other parents talked to our kids about what was happening, their response was startling. The basic procedure is this: ask the bully nicely to stop. If that doesn't work, move away. If that doesn't work, ask a teacher for help. And if someone is hurt, ask the teacher for help right away. The two most common responses from the kids are that they don't feel like that teachers would do anything about it, and that tattle-taling would only make things worse. Red lights started going off so a few of us booked a chat with the principal this morning.
The school is listening. They had a major staff meeting yesterday morning, and when I got to school to drop the kids off after lunch, I saw no less than six yard supervisors in their bright orange vests. That's a major step forward. They're still outnumbered more that 100 to 1 though, so it's not the only answer.
In our meeting this morning, the Principal confirmed that yes, some of the teachers have been slacking off on the yard duties and that will stop effective immediately. He showed us a map of the school grounds, and explained exactly where the boundaries are. The teachers now have new routes to patrol to make sure all the areas are covered. the Principal and VP will be out there every day too. They're even going to set up a snowball throwing area off to one side that will be set up with targets, and supervised by some of the more adventurous teachers!
When we told him about the younger kids hesitation to talk their teachers, and my own personal experience with the "what can we do?" attitude, he was very unhappy. That's not the message we want to send. He promised to have a second meeting with the teachers to address that. It's simply not acceptable. He went further, telling us to tell our kids to go straight to him if they don't feel comfortable talking to the teachers.
He also promised to talk to the kids this week about the boundaries of the yard, the rules of behaviour, and reminders about what bullying looks like and what to do about it. He's going to hold an assembly for the primary grades tomorrow, and address each of the senior classes individually. All the teachers will do follow-up activities with their classes, and hopefully that will get things back on track.
I like our Principal. While some of the parents and teachers think he "should bring the hammer down on them", and bring in a zero tolerance policy on bullying, and add a bunch of new restrictions on play time, he would rather work towards fostering a sense of right and responsibility in them. Teaching them to be good citizens seems like a much better approach to me too. With the possible odd exception, they're all good kids, who get carried away sometimes. He's got a lot of great ideas about how to deal with one-on-one situations and he has a wealth of patience. He also cares very deeply about our kids. He talks about them as if they are his own.
My faith has been restored.
Cheers!
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