Winter Camp 2011

We just got back for our weekend at Winter Camp and it was a blast!  We took over the Cobourg Scout Reserve, a place I've wanted to visit since I was a little kid. It's on old ski resort that was donated to Scouts Canada years ago and converted to a Scout camp.  We used to drive by it on the way to visit my Grandparents, back in the days when I longed to be a Boy Scout. Not only was it a wonderful weekend, but I checked off two things on my Bucket List - camping on my birthday and going there!

The view from "The Pit", a spot about 3/4 of way up the hill, looking down on the Chalet.
Our less adventurous sledders used this as their starting point, but it was still too high for me.

For some families, it was their first "camping " experience so, while our Scouts could choose to sleep in their cabin or in the quinzees they made out of snow, the rest of us slept in a nice warm chalet. We had an old ski hill, a bunch of toboggans, miles of trails, a well-stocked craft bag, as well as lots of stories, games and songs ready to go. Mother Nature was extremely generous so, in the Scouting tradition, we even had a campfire on Saturday night!

The view from the bottom of the hill, looking up to the Scout's cabin.

The secret to our success, in my opinion, was lots of free time for the kids. We made a general schedule, including meals, outside time, inside time, one hike and one group craft. The rest of the time, the kids could do what they wanted, as long as they did it safely, nicely, and within sight of at least two grown-ups. Those toboggans sure got a workout. We had to drag most of the kids off the hill and inside to warm up!

The view from the back of the hiking group. We didn't go as far as we planned
because the snow was too big for some of our little legs.

Dads and sons, fathers and daughters, Nannies and grandkids, sisters and brothers, and moms and sons ... Everyone went home with smiles on their faces and a bunch of fun new memories!
 

The 9th Pickering Scout Group adventurers, ready to head home after and awesome weekend.

Jonas does a great job of sharing me with the other kids, but I'm always careful to carve out moments just for us to share. I'm still his mom after all, and these trips are more than just Scouting. They're about making family memories and strengthening our bond. Because of my shoulder injury, I couldn't race on the GT Snow Racers with him, but we did take a couple of runs down the bunny hill together in an old wooden toboggan. He told me last night that he loved it and hoped that we could go again soon. That's exactly what I was hoping to hear!

A Beaver Scouts and his mom, heading home with more happy memories.

Cheers!
jacs

The Bathroom Door

Living in one house and working in another can be a little confusing. I don't have to remember which stairs squeak in which house anymore, but the exhaust vents for the ovens are on opposite sides of the stove and have resulted in many melted bread bags, and kitchen disasters abound when I forget which element is too hot and which one doesn't work at all.

One thing that is similar between these two homes is the bathroom door. Those things are magical! There is no better way for me to get the kids attention them to close it, with me on one side and them on the other. It's like an invisible beacon, my own personal bat signal. Outside of it, I'm like the teacher from Charlie Brown - they tune out every word I say that doesn't suit them - but I suddenly become as wise as Merlin the Great when I cross over that sacred threshold.

They were fascinated with the bathroom as toddlers. There was no such thing as privacy. The toilet was particularly enthralling. I didn't think I would ever get to flush it myself again. In truth, I stopped closing the door at our house because there just seemed no point. The distress it caused was harder to deal with than the audience.  As they got a little older, I started to be become scared of closing it. It was like the click of the door was a signal for havoc to reign. Fighting, breaking things, making huge messes and hurting themselves happened almost as if on queue. I seriously felt like I couldn't even go to the bathroom without destruction coming to knock on the door.

Flash forward to the present day, and the door is firmly closed - and locked. Don't kid yourself though - it's no sanctuary. It's more like a battle room. Their most pressing concerns are left until they hear that click. It doesn't matter if I try to go by stealth or publically announce my intentions. They race to stand on the other side, peppering me with questions and interesting facts, knowing I can't escape and thinking that I have to give them my full attention. Math homework, scientific dilemnas and the meaning of life - no topic is off-limits. It almost seems like they save their best stuff for those moments. Arguments are expected to be resolved, and solutions found, while that beautiful piece of wood stands between us, guarding me from the onslaught.

Of course, there are benefits. I was once so started by the spontaneous crisis that errupted when I went in, that I dropped my blackberry into the bowl. I nearly cried but it was a blessing in disguise. I clearly had a substance abuse problem! I haven't had a cell phone since. If only I could flush away the other problems so easily. ;)

Cheers!

Childhood Adventures

When I was a kid, my Grandparents lived on a farm on the outskirts of a small town. We usually spent a couple of weeks there every summer. We always has so much fun that it felt like we were there all summer. It looked forward to it all year, especially when it wasn't going to be just my brother and I, but our cousins Chris and Joey too.

My Grandfather worked as the Assistant Postmaster in town, and my Grandma spent the day with us. Well, spent the day with us is an overstatement. What she really did was throw us out of the house and tell us that if we came back before lunch or dinner was ready, we'd be put to work. Even though it wasn't a working farm anymore, there was always something to be done, whether it was weeding the huge garden, getting the veggies ready for freezing and canning, or scrubbing the old kitchen floor. Things would get worse quickly if she ever heard us say "I'm bored." Of course, we usually found ways to amuse ourselves.

There were acres to roam around on, and roam we did. There were trees to climb, a couple of cows to torment (not recommended), a creek to fish in and old barns to explore. The old train track out back was still in use, but the train schedule was predictable. Once a day, before the sun came up, we'd hear the whistle. By the time we were 8 or 9, the iron rails became our super highway. We could folllow it all the way into town to Johnny's corner store for a popsicle, pretending to be on any number of quests along the way.

My son walking our old railroad bed with his Teddy.
It's been converted to a hiking and snowmobile trail now, and is about 3kms to town.

When Chris and I were about 14 and 13 years old, we had the adventure of a lifetime.  A farmer up the road invited us to come and ride his brand new four wheeler.  We had only just met him at a neighbour's farm, but in those days, a friend of a neighbour wasn't considered a stranger so we were allowed to go. Our younger brothers, at 12 and 11 years old, were not allowed to join us. Not beause Grandma said no, but because Chris and I wanted to exclude them. This was big kid stuff after all!

The directions were simple. "Just follow this road, and when you get to the third road that crosses it, turn left and go the big yellow house on the hill" he said. It sounded simple so we packed a snack and headed out at the crack of dawn. No lunch, no water, no cell phones. Just two kids walking to paradise. The "road" was HWY 30, an old two lane country road, with no sidewalks, lots of creeks, farms, and a stream of trucks and tractors going about their business.

To this day, it's still the hottest day I can remember. It felt like it took us all day to get there. The side of the road was littered with the stuff of childhood imagination. We found a dirty old jacket, a man's hat, an old boot, along with countless sticks to use as weapons to fend off whatever evil creature had made off with the person they belonged to. We wondered aloud what had happened to the man, and came up with countless possibilities, each making me more frightened and braver than the last.

By the time we finally made it, a woman answered the door, looking completely bewildered. Who were we, she asked, and what were we doing there? After we explained, she told us that her husband did indeed have a new four wheeler, but he wasn't home. Disappointed and heartbroken, we accepted a glass of water from her, turned around and headed back home. We made it just in time for dinner, where my Grandfather delighted in our tales of adventure and laughed at his neighbor for assuming that we'd never make it. It's one of my favourite childhood memories.

Chris and I with Grandpa, when we were about 7 and 8 years old

My son and his best friend, both age seven, made their first solo walk to the mailbox last week. It's a whole 62 steps for me to get there and back and it took them about 5 minutes. They were so proud of themselves when they got back. I was worried every second and I watched them, secretely, from the upstairs balcony.  As I listened to my son tell his Dad about their adventure, I remembered my own from so long ago. I looked the route up on Google the other day. It's about six and a half kilometers. How times have changed!

Cheers!

I Can't Do It - YET!!

Homework has been a struggle for our family since early in Grade One. Jonas gets frustrated very quickly, and very often ends up in tears. Somewhere along the line he lost faith in himself. He's had a good couple of weeks since he started his ADHD medication, and we thought (hoped?) that we were over that hump. He's been confident and upbeat at homework time, and he's been doing a great job. Unfortunately, the ugly beast reared it's head again on the weekend.

Working with his pediatrician and teacher, we've capped homework time to thirty minutes a day, not including reading.  Thankfully, reading seems to becoming a healthy addicition for him. Yesterday he choose to read another story instead of watching a movie. Hooray!  More often than not though, his non-reading time is a half hour battle. I say battle because he fights it, and I struggle to figure out a way to get him in the right frame of mind. I do see the value in doing homework so I'm not going to throw up my arms in defeat. It's a fine line because while I don't want him to view homework as a punishment, he also has to learn that not doing it isn't an option. It's a skill he needs to master, not only to succeed in school but also in life. 

Sometimes the frustration sets in when he doesn't get something right, and other times, like this weekend, just getting started brings on the waterworks. I don't know what it is that makes him so upset about homework time, but he does have a similar struggle navigating through the all challenges that crop up during his day. It's definitely something we need to help him work through. Although the steps we've taken so far have helped a lot, they haven't reduced the emotion of these "roadblocks". Sunday's plea was the very common "I just can't do it!" 

It breaks my heart to see him so upset, especially over something that I believe he can master, so I stole a piece of awesome advice from a colleage at Toastmasters. (Thank you Stephen!)  Instead of  saying "I can't do it!" we're trying to get him to think and say "I can't do it - yet!" What a powerful little word! Nobody masters anything their first time out. Beginner's luck aside, most things take time to be able to do well. Whether it's playing chess with his sister, soccer with kids at school, or practicing his handwriting, he needs to learn that it's the effort that counts, not whether he gets it exactly right the first time, or even every time for that matter. All he really needs to do is try his best every time. The more he practices something, the better he'll get at it. We're trying to get him to understand that when he doesn't get the result he wants, it's not the end of the world. He just hasn't gotten it - yet!

Cheers!

The Ants Came Marching Two By Two

Last week, the kids at school made a spontaneous ant line that marched along the top of the snow banks that line the school yard. I wished I had a video camera because it was one of the coolest things I have ever seen. There must have been 60 kids marching along. I half expected them to start singing "The ants came marching two by two..." It was such simple fun in the snow that it made most of the adults in the yard smile. (All but one yard supervisor anyway.) Strike another blow for common sense!



Notice the kid in the background running to join the fun?
Hoorah! Hoorah!

This morning, moments after I took this shot of my three at the end of the line of about a dozen kids, the same yard supervisor came over and made them stop. My heart sank but I didn't say anything, except to remind them when they came to me to complain that she's the boss and they have to show her respect by following the rules. She promptly came over to me and said "I know it probably defies common sense to ask kids to stop playing in the snow." To which I responded "MMhmm. Good old fresh air and exercise is good for them and they love playing in the snow." She then said "Someone could get hurt. Someone could get pushed over that fence, especially when there are more kids out here. There are 600 kids out here at recess!"

She may have been right. The bank is higer this week than last, and someone could get pushed over, especially bigger kids who are horsing around. The same bigger kids that come to school wearing sweatshirts and no hatts or mitts, and who have no interest in joining this little kid's game. The same big kids who, fairly or not, are expected to be role models for the younger, are completely oblivious to them. They were too busy this morning throwing snowalls and giving each other snowjobs to even notice what this ant line was doing.

The kids that were playing the follow the leader game this morning weren't horsing around. They weren't pushing. They weren't hurting anything. They weren't even running. As far as we knew until that moment, they weren't breaking any rules. What they were doing was laughing and having old fashioned fun together.

I do understand that the yard supervisors are on the hook if anything goes wrong, and a lot of parents these days tend to overreact if they think little Johnny or Jenny is even in the slightest danger of scratching an elbow. I was one of the only parents to see what was happening this morning. If someone had of gotten pushed over and broken their arm or worse, some adult would have thought it was the end of the world. Don't get me wrong, I'm not in favour of throwing our kids to the wolves. I don't think we should let them do things that are too risky for them. I also believe that we have an extra responsibility to younger kids, who can be impulsive and haven't yet learned to weigh consequences before they act. That's one of the reasons why adults supervise the yard. 

I don't think we need to suck the fun out of everything they do just because something might go wrong. Personally, I don't think it would have been child endangerment to let them continue. I also think it would have made more senese to deal with the big kids who were clearly disregaurding the rules, rather than to stop all the little ones from having fun.

It seems to me that the little ones, who are doing things the right way, have a lot to teach those bigger kids. Maybe instead of squashing what's going right "just in case", we should address what needs to be fixed. It's easier to focus on what the little kids are doing though. They listen better and they don't often fight back when we impose rules on them. Not yet anyway.

I don't know, but it could be that part of the reason our kids stop listening to us, is that we squash the life out of them in situations like this.

Cheers!

Do As I Say Not As I Do

An interesting thing has happened at school this week. After weeks of battling with some of the yard supervisors about the kids safety, and explaining to the kids that the teachers and volunteers at the school are the bosses and need to be respected, the leash seems to have loosened. When one adult to tried to stop about 60 kids from marching likes ants in formation on the snowbank that lines the school yard, the science teacher stepped in and asked her "What's the harm? It's actually pretty cool!" Most of our teachers and volunteers are truly great. She was absolutely right! It was cool! Nobody told them to do it, they just spontaneously joined in. I really wished I had my camera that day. It was awesome!

Now that the kids seem to be allowed to be kids again back there, the focus has shifted this week to the parking lot at the front of the school. Our school has sort of a horseshoe shaped driveway in front, where the drop-off and pick-up area is. All the kids on foot are funneled through a little crosswalk near the entrance, between the teacher's lot and the the driveway, and walk along a sidewalk at the front of the school. We are required to escort our kindergarten kids right to their gated yard, which is also in this driver's staging area. The driveway is wide enough for a bus and two cars, with a row of parking on the left-hand side.  Even though there are signs, orange cones and usually one or two people directing traffic, you're aren't going to get anywhere fast if you drive, especially on inclement weather days. That's one of the reasons we walk as often as possible. It's quicker. Walking to school is also better for our us. We're trying to develop healthy habits in our kids so walking makes sense. I also always thought it was safer too, until this week.

There are two signs at both parking lot entrances that look something like the ones below. "Do Not Enter" and "One Way".  Drivers are to enter at one end, pick-up or drop-off their kids, and then exit at the other end. The flow of traffic might not move very fast, and yes, there are occasionally arguments when someone abandons their car to run out and pick-up little Johnny or Jenny, but to the credit of all the drivers, everyone seems to obey the very basic commend that traffic shall flow in only one direction. Until this week - and it's the teachers who seem to be staging the revolt.

While tempting fate and letting the kids play in the snow in front of the school, we watched one teacher pull out of one of the front parking spots and drive the wrong way out the entrance. Wow, I thought, that was weird. She didn't use the reserved and partly empty teacher's lot, and she went the wrong way. Must be a supply teacher I reasoned.

If that was a one-off scenario I'd let it go, but seven separate times this week, we've watched teachers get into their cars in the Teacher's lot at the side of the school, and drive out the entrance instead of the exit. Granted, it's a much shorter route, and takes much less time than waiting to get through the chaos. It would probably be harmless if there weren't any kids around. All but once there was a yard full of kids and an ant line of cars waiting to chauffeur them home. Twice the teacher-driven vehicles even came face to face with buses trying to get in.

As part of their journey to independence, I'm teaching the kids to be aware of their environment and keep their heads up. People do dumb things, including adults, and accidents can happen even when we think we're being very careful. Just because there's a stop sign at the corner doesn't mean every car is going to stop, for example, so we wait until the cars have stopped until we step off the curb. No big deal and not a fearful thing, just common sense. They're learning that they shouldn't count on anyone else to keep them safe.

I think there's an important point to be made here. These are teachers at school, disregarding safety rules in front of the kids. The kids aren't dumb, they see who's driving the cars, and ask me why they aren't following the rules. I don't really have an answer for them. I don't want to go charging into the school to complain but, when one of those drivers turned out twice to be the snow angel lady, I had to do it.

If my kid isn't safe lying on the snow in his snowsuit, he's certainly not safe when he has to dodge teachers driving erratically through the parking. An outrageous overstatement? Absolutely!! But this is the snow angel lady, after all!

Cheers!

A Beaver Scout and His Scouter Mom

Jonas loves being a Beaver Scout. It's one night a week, and a weekend or two a month, that he gets to have good old-fashioned fun. He can run and be loud, play with his friends, play dodge-ball and tag (which are both banned during school activities), learn cool new stuff, let his creativity flow, hang out with bigger boys, and explore nature - actually play outside in it - sometimes even in the dark of night! And don't get me started on the campfire stories he has to tell! He doesn't get shushed very often either. He struggles with some of the more formal parts of the night, like sitting quietly for ceremonies and not not talking while someone else is, but he's starting to catch on. Luckily, part of the Scouts Canada program is the social development of our youth. He comes away from each meeting or event more positive and confident than he was when he arrived, and personally, I believe that kind of experience is priceless!

Jonas is very proud of his campfire blanket and all the crests he's earned so far.

One of the many great things about Scouting is that he is surrounded with positive adult interaction and role models. Scout leaders provide positive guidance and feedback, not criticism and punishment. As leaders, we keep at the forefront our minds that we are helping to mold young adults, not trying to fit them into a mold.

Becoming a Scout Leader is one of the best things I've ever done. It has proven to be a wonderful new way to connect with my son. Part of the credit goes to an unwritten rule that says "There are no moms in Scouting!" When I first heard that, the feminist inside me started screaming. Growing up, I always wanted to be a Boy Scout but I wasn't allowed because I was a girl. I was a Brownie, and then a Girl Guide, and I even tried Pathfinders for a little while. Then, blessedly, I become a quitter. I hated every second of it, except maybe when my Grandma Lillie taught me how to knit so I could get my first badge in Brownies. My opinion of Girl Guides has changed over the years but back then, the only thing it really meant to me was that at least once a week I had to wear a dress and learn girl things. I hated it! I wanted to be out in the bush with the boys, learning how to make shelters and start campfires.

Girls are a growing part of Scouting today, and women are stepping up to become leaders more and more. I did it because I was going to take Jonas every week anyway, and the group was short of leaders. I love kids, camping and outdoors so it seemed like it would be a great fit. There is a danger though, of us joining just to keep an eye on little Johnny or Jenny, and there is an equal risk of our kids holding too tightly to our apron strings. And if it's been a rough day for parents and our kids, it can be hard for either of us to set those frustrations aside, even for an hour or two.

When they say "There are no moms in Scouting" what they mean is that I'm not there to be Jonas' parent. I'm there to be a Leader for all the kids. Jonas isn't allowed to call me Mom and the other kids aren't allowed to call me Jacqui - even the ones I babysit full-time. They call me "Sunshine".

Sunshine and Jonas have a wonderful relationship. She's more patient than me, and a better listener too. Even though she gets frustrated sometimes too, she doesn't ever yell or get angry. And she's starting to get pretty good at crafts, songs and games too! Whether she's in the gym helping the kids to resolve a dispute over the rules of a game, freezing her butt off on a toboggan hill making sure nobody crashes, or at camp getting everyone to settle down for bedtime, she's teaching me to be a better mom. She's not perfect. She's still learning, but she's helping me become the mom I always wanted to be.

Cheers!